it's facebook official

in today's world, life events don't actually happen until you put post about them on the internets, so since i've given myself permission to talk about it publicly, i guess it's really happening.we're having a puppy!it does seem kind of odd to me that i can't actually say the real thing yet. i've found myself stumbling over my words when telling people in person until the sentence awkwardly tumbles out of my mouth, "i'm...um....with baby..... i mean, i, uh...there's....a kid in there." holy shit! did that just happen?in all sincerity, it's not that i'm not thrilled or that i don't want this. aside from the fact that, yes, i'm just that awkward sometimes, i think it's just taken me so long to feel like i even deserve to enter into this sort of "sorority of moms", that when i tell people i feel like i'm subconsciously waiting for one of them to stare at me dumbfounded and say, "what?", "you?" like i just looked them in the face and told them i invented post-its or something (notice romy and michele reference, you're welcome).but either way, here we are now choosing midwives and doulas and hospitals and finding out about all kinds of gross stuff that my body's about to experience and preparing my husband to get to know me in a very new and gross interesting way. i know, i know, childbirth is amazing. and in all seriousness, i can't wait to see what my body can do. but i'm also talking about some of the other stuff like the gas and constipation and diarrhea and constant runny nose and peeing and extreme sense of smell (which seems to work best with gross smells). he's just loving that stuff! ha!but in other news, i can't wait to find out what we are having. yes, we'll most definitely find out. neither chris or i are very good "waiters". christmas and birthday presents are usually opened early. secrets don't last long between us. surprises are almost impossible, which makes them kind of awesome when they are actually pulled off in our house. and i just love the idea of buying little blue or purple chuck taylor's. so i can't wait to find out.no matter what decisions we make though, i know that this is just the beginning. the beginning of countless decisions to come, of late nights and little sleep, of new adventures and unexpected challenges, of sweet moments and unnumbered firsts. while i can't say fully that i am completely confident we are going to be ready to take on every new obstacle, right now i'm so excited to see where this story will go next, i don't even care.