dear jonah

dear jonah,you arrived in the wee hours on a tuesday, fast and furious. your daddy and i had gone in on that monday for our regular appointment with our midwife, only to find out that we'd be meeting you a lot sooner then we had expected. all along, i had thought and felt that you would be taking your time, but little did i know then that you were ready to meet the world, about 2 1/2 weeks earlier then your "guess date". everything about your arrival kept us on our toes. in many ways, your grand entrance was exactly right for mommy (a planner through and through). for the first time in my life, i had to just enjoy the ride and let things unfold.....let you lead. and you did! it was my biggest challenge to date, with the biggest reward at the end. i have never felt so accomplished.you made your way into the world after only 6 hours of labor and about 6 minutes of pushing......wow..... i'll never forget that moment as long as i live.... the moment that i knew you were out and they placed you in my arms. you were the perfect baby and i knew instantly that, in all the world, i would never love another living thing the way that i love you. the feeling was so immediate and so intense that thinking about it now still brings tears to my eyes. it's hard for me to even put that feeling into words, it's as if there just aren't words big enough.i also knew in that moment that i will love your daddy for the rest of my life. it's a very special thing to share with another human being....the creating of new life and the drama of bringing that life into the world. i look at him very differently now.  i see new strength in him and new vulnerability, where i didn't before you were here. i see how he gazes at you with a single look that holds thousands of silent emotions and wishes and promises for you. i see in his eyes the way that your sweet, simple presence has permanently changed his entire world....how everything looks and feels different now.....how everything he has ever known, past, present and future has somehow transformed. i know that look, because i feel that way too. it's as if, the day you were born....so were we.i can hardly believe that you are going to be 2 months old already. how did that happen so fast? it feels like it was just yesterday when i was sitting in the back seat of the car with you while daddy nervously drove us home from the hospital. your 6 pound little body looked so tiny in that carseat. i just couldn't let you ride back there all by yourself. i'll never forget the first day that you were home. we just sat and held you and stared at you, studying your every feature, for hours. you hadn't learned how to nurse yet or take a bottle, so we took turns spoon feeding you teeny amounts of milk. you were so precious and fragile....and ours. it was like a dream.now, time is both our enemy and our friend. there are days when i can't wait until you can hold your head up on your own. i dream of the day you will laugh at us and talk to us, and of course....sleep, longer then 3 hours at a time (on a good night). while i wait with anticipation, for these "benchmark" moments that i cannot wait to share with you, at the same time, i wish time would slow down. every minute that ticks by, every outfit that you grow out of, every new morning that i have to press on and walk out the door and leave you at home while i go to work, is a bittersweet reminder that as much as you are ours, someday we will have to let you go. so, now, in those precious moments "in between" i have learned to be present, to really see and feel and savor each sensation of this life, this time that we have together. i want to experience every single piece of your new, little, big existence. i don't want to miss a second...i cannot wait to see what our future holds together. we are going to have such adventures.... i will introduce you to so many new things and people and places. i can't wait to show you the world and to see it again through your eyes. you have already made my life so wonderful. you are an impressive little man....so much influence in your pint-sized, 8 week old body. you have already changed my world in so many beautiful ways. i feel like a different person. i am a different person. i'm a mom........your mom.thank you so much for choosing me.i love you, i love you, i love you,mommyall photography: olive avenue photography