10 resolutions for 2014

the turning over of the new year is, in my humble opinion, one of the best times of the year. there is something so refreshing about the idea of being able to "start over". new beginnings are one of those beautiful times when we can turn the page, clear the slate and completely ditch any of the old, heavy or even unpleasant baggage we may have been carrying around. i especially love the new year, because it is a time that forces me to reflect on the past year and on the things i want to do a little different going forward.there were a lot of things that happened over the past year around here: our band lost one of our best friends and singers to a bigger and better national touring artist (i'm sublimely happy for her), i gained a new co-worker and good friend at my daytime job, i started this blog and also wrote a post that had over 300k readers, my husband finished his 4th semester in college (2 more to go!) and my beloved minnesota became the 12th state to legalize gay marriage. i traveled and sang and started new hobbies. i fought and laughed and forgave and apologized. friends and loved ones marry, divorced, had babies and said goodbye to people they cherish.....a lot can happen in a year.so again, i put together a list (mostly for myself) of somethings to keep in mind as i head into 2014. maybe some of these will also ring true for you. (or feel free to add your own.) i find that we humans are often so much more alike than we are different.

1. let it go: whatever things you are carrying with you right now that are holding you back from being happy LET THEM GO. forgive people. don't hold grudges. if you need to, tell someone that you are upset with them, tell them why, tell them you love them and move on. better to spend our time on earth being happy and surrounded by love then to be constipated with junky emotions and bad feelings....gross.
2. be kind: to your friends, to your wives, husbands, kids, parents, in-laws, co-workers and especially to strangers. it costs you nothing. it is impossible to know the complicated ins and outs of anyone's day to day struggles. be kind to people around you, you don't know what they might be dealing with.
3. make eye contact and smile: i swear, i love technology, but it has stunted our human to human communication. i'm always amazed when i see people sitting right next to each other, never making eye contact or acknowledging each others presence, while also on their phones, updating their facebook status and probably chatting with someone else who is miles away (i'm so beyond guilty of this). greet people, smile, maybe say, "hi". connect with the living, breathing humans around you, it's just respectful and also proof that you are, in fact, also a human and not a robot.
4. practice tolerance: it doesn't have to be "us vs. them". believe what you believe, but respectfully tolerate that others have different beliefs and values. oh, and no name-calling. just because someone might vehemently disagree with you does not make them an "idiot". be careful that on your great quest for tolerance you aren't actually becoming intolerant.
5. downsize: de-clutter, live simpler. you do not need so much stuff. live a life that is rich in experiences not rich in "things". get rid of anything in your house that is not useful, sentimental or beautiful. you do not need 4 tvs or boxes full of your old math homework from 5th grade (unless it's for some reason especially meaningful to you). whatever crap you can't unload on craigslist; recycle or toss. you don't need it.
6. try something new: do something challenging and new that might even scare you. the second we start to grow "old" is the second we stop experiencing new things and venturing into new territory. the world is a vastly complex and exciting place, go experience it. oh, and get outside while you're at it....put down the ipad.
7. be kind online: like rush hour traffic, social media is an interesting place to observe human interaction. it's so easy to say something rude or sarcastic or even mean when you are doing it behind a keyboard where no one will ever have to see you or know who you are. the world is challenging enough. don't put more crap into it, even online. let your online disagreements come from a place of understanding rather than defensiveness. otherwise just stick to posting puppies and kittens.
8. embrace balance: yin and yang, black and white, conservative and liberal. there are always two sides to every story and most of the time we need to hear both of them in order to come to the actual truth. you don't have to agree with everyone, in fact, sometimes it's better if you don't. it's much easier to make an educated choice when you know all of the facts and are willing to listen to all perspectives.
9. eat good food: try new recipes, gather with friends, break bread and share stories. there is something special that happens over a good meal, a good bottle of wine and your favorite folks. so, make something tasty or head to your favorite local eatery and watch the magic unfold. *no low fat or reduced calorie nonsense.
10. don't hold back with friends and loved ones: if you are angry with them, if you love them, if you appreciate them, if you admire them or if you just want them to know you are thinking of them....let them know! the sooner the better. don't waste precious time. if it's resolution you need, get it. if it's gratitude you need to express, express it. give them a call, send a text or an email or a card. don't hold back and don't assume that they know anything that's in your head or on your heart if you don't tell them.

i wish you all the best of what life has to offer in 2014. i hope that you live this next year with ferocity and passion and that it brings you buckets of happiness, peace and love!