Minimalism and moving....again.

Yeah, you read that right. We are moving again. And even though we just moved into our current home a mere 2 years ago, we feel pretty certain that this is the right move for us. We are considering this move one more attempt to inch closer to the life we have been looking for. You now the one, right? The one that we've been told is possible since we were kids. The one where we experience the most joy and freedom and control over how our time is spent, what our days look like and how our surroundings really make us feel on a daily basis. But, let me back up a little bit.Picture this: It's two and a half years ago. Chris and I have just had our first baby and, as anyone who has experienced the first few months of parenthood would understand, we were in "the fog." Like deeeeeep in the fog. Everything felt like a vacuum. Everyday decisions felt scattered and last minute. Getting out of the door on time seemed impossible (still does, let's be honest). Pretty much everything felt instantly secondary next to this enormous task of keeping a tiny human alive. I wish someone would tell you what the hell you are supposed to do with a baby when you get home from the hospital. Mostly, we just sat staring at him, totally bewildered and shell shocked that this is our life now. Don't get me wrong, it was awesome, amazing, beautiful...all the things. But it was also, and still continues to be, incredibly difficult and terrifying to suddenly be a parent, not to mention the way that it completely shifts every relationship you previously had, especially the one with your partner. You are emotional and sleep deprived and constantly worried that you are doing something to f!#%-up  your child (that last part never seems to go away). Needless to say, we were feeling very mentally and emotionally gooey. And all this gooeyness was probably a huge contributing factor to saying "yes" when my younger brother, who has some special needs, needed an emergency place to live when his housing fell through for the second time in several months.So, what did we decide to do right in the middle of all of that goo? We decided to sell our little double bungalow in South Minneapolis and rent a massive (to us) four-bedroom house in a rural suburb (to us) so that my younger brother could move in with us, and we could "test drive" the suburbs. Because that's what you're supposed to do when you have kids right? Pack up your little family, dogs and cats in tow, and move out of the city to where there is space to roam and ride your bike down the street. Where you can get more house for your money (which everyone obviously wants or should want) and where the neighbors look out for each other. It took this little multiracial family exactly six months to figure out that suburban living was DEFINITELY not for us. I think that the suburbs are a fine place to live and raise children. Hell, Chris and I both grew up in suburbs, which is what drew us out there in the first place, but after 15 years of living in a city, we were not prepared for how isolated we would feel in the burbs. I missed the access to food and culture. We missed our friends. We missed having people talk to us (seriously, not a single neighbor introduced themselves to us in six months). And we were tired of hearing the theme song to Weeds playing in our heads every time we drove into our housing development. So, after much thought (sort of), it was back to the city for us.We purchased (or should I say, borrowed from the bank) a cute house in St. Louis Park, an offshoot of Minneapolis (our address was, somehow, still Minneapolis) and planned, with all honest intent, to hunker down here for many years. I mean, this place had everything we thought we wanted. Great kitchen (very important to me), nice big yard for Jonah and the fur kids, neighbors who brought us cookies the day after we moved in, easy access to downtown, great schools etc. etc. etc. It was, for all intents and purposes, perfect for us. Which is exactly why it came as a total surprise to both of us (and our parents) when, after only a year and a half, we were already dreaming of moving again. In a culture that values the idea that more equals more and tells us that we if we don't want more – more money, more house, more crap, more responsibility – then we aren't normal, I started to wonder, "Are we just a couple of spoiled malcontents?" "What's wrong with us?" "Why isn't this stuff making us happy?" It was then that we started examining other aspects of our lives. Our hobbies, our work, our family life, when we felt the most joy and when we felt the most anxiety. We started to make a mental tally of all of the things that pointed to what we want and truly believe at our core.Right as we were starting to have these very real, very raw conversations, we stumbled upon the documentary, Minimalism. (If you haven't seen it yet, it is on Netflix.) We watched it together and almost everything that it seemed to say had us both echoing a resounding, "YES!!" Yes, we want a more fulfilled life. Yes, we want richer relationships and connections with loved ones. Yes, we want to raise our child to value experiences, not things. Yes, we want to clear the physical clutter and the mental clutter of the supposed "American Dream" in order experience the real freedom that we so desperately want. Yes. Yes. Yes! And when we applied the values of minimalism to our professional lives and to what brings us the most joy and fulfillment, other things began to click into place as well. Tensions that we've continually found ourselves railing against. Conventionalities that we've fruitlessly tried to shove ourselves into, only to end up depressed and exhausted and feeling a failure. And I'm so tired of feeling a failure.Does anyone else feel like they are constantly watching other people "do life" better and think, "Why not me?" I know that Chris and I have both felt this way. And historically, we have taken some pretty big leaps (3 houses, 2 new family members, 5 new jobs within the last 2.5 years) to try to chase that dream. Some of our choices have taken us down some pretty amazing roads and lead to new opportunities, relationships, experiences and awarenesses that we would never have had we not taken some risks and tried new things. Some of our choices have been, well, pretty dumb. But you can't always win right? I've always valued that as a couple, we are willing to shift if we aren't feeling happy or fulfilled. So, this just seems par for the course for us. But I don't want to watch other people do life and think to myself, "Why not me?" I believe that we CAN live remarkable and amazing lives, we just have to be brave and be bold and, sometimes, be a bit unconventional. So, how does selling our house play into all of this? Our reasons for selling our house break down into three main areas;

1. Change in family make-up: My brother is ready to move out. I can't possibly understand why a twenty-something guy wouldn't want to hang out with his thirty-something sister and brother-in-law and their toddler, but whatever. He's ready for roommates and to live on his own and we are super excited for him. We are also excited for us, as this means that we will get to experience what it is like to be our little family of three, something that we haven't really experienced since Jonah was about 3 months old. Anyway, with Tony moving out, we have fewer people and thus, require less space. So, our cute 4 bedroom house just isn't really necessary anymore.
2. Change in finances: My brother pays for his own room and board while he lives with us, making it possible for us to afford a four bedroom house with three finished living spaces. So, with him moving out, we will experience a shift in our finances, affecting our budget. And, if I'm being honest, we are artists who don't really want to go out and get full-time jobs just so we can put Jonah in daycare and pay an expensive mortgage on a house that we aren't really attached to and is far more than what we need for just the three of us. That just isn't the kind of life we want. 
3. Change in values and beliefs: Chris and I agree, some of our most tangible memories are tethered to experiences, moments shared with loved ones and friends, not stuff and certainly not a house. I mean, I loved the cabin I spent every summer in as a kid, but I learned very quickly after that cabin burned to the ground in a fire, that it's the people that breathe life into a space and into the moments that are etched into my mind and heart forever. And they go on, still making new memories and sharing new experiences, long after a place is no more. So, all of this, all of this people adding and home buying and job switching and self reflecting have lead us to some serious self realizations and to this very significant shift in our values, or perhaps, just the ability to name values we've always felt, but couldn't properly identify. We want less. We want to simplify. Less mental and physical clutter. Less space, less stuff, less financial burden and hopefully, more focus on what truly brings joy in beauty into our lives. And, more travel. That wouldn't hurt. :)

I can hear your questions, "When is this all happening?""Where will you be moving?" And the answer is: we're not sure yet. We are getting our house ready to list and then after that we will be looking for a smaller place to rent that allows us to bring our fur kids. But that's about all we know at the moment. We are nervous and excited about all the changes in our future, but also incredibly hopeful about the possibilities. So, follow along with us, as we move through the process downsizing our stuff so we can upsize our lives. We may end up just being a couple of crazy people, but hey, that'd still be fun to read right?Cheers!