a letter to my boy on his first birthday

dear jonah,

you are one year old today!

i feel like i have to pause to let that fully sink in. i absolutely cannot believe that a year has flown by so quickly. it is as if iblinked and already you are crawling around, pulling yourself up on anything you can, repeating words with little effort, eating everything in sight and no longer needing me to nurse you to sleep anymore. this last year has by far been the sweetest, most magical and most challenging year of my life. i have said this before and i'll probably continue saying it for the rest of your life, but until you were born, i had no idea that i could love anything as much as i love you. it's as if, the day you were born, my heart grew another chamber entirely that houses only my immeasurable love, hopes, dreams, wishes for you and your beautiful little life.let's recap a few highlights from your first year (in no particular order):

• you were born! that's a pretty big one. the day of your birth was my biggest, most life altering experience ever. i learned that the limits of my ability and strength stretch far beyond what i previously believed i could ever do or accomplish. you fought your way into this world with all the gusto and fervor that i now know is innately a part of who you are. even now, you rarely do things slowly. don't get me wrong, you take your time, but once you have decided that you are ready for a new food, skill, tooth.... you go in full speed ahead until the task is accomplished. this was the same with your short and dramatic entrance into this world. it was amazing.

• the first 7 weeks of your life were absolute magic. you, daddy and me were the three musketeers, battling it out and figuring it out together. hold up in our cozy house on 44th avenue. we spent the first few weeks getting to know your quirks and your cries, what made you comfortable and happy (being swaddled, being nestled in one of our arms, your music and baths) and what you really hated (being lotioned and clothed after a bath, seriously, that was pretty much the only thing). we took turns clothing, feeding and snuggling you. we ate a lot of comforting food as well as a fair amount of take out chinese from the place up the street. we spent entire days in bed, the three of us together, wrapped up in our little worldthat no one else belonged to. we listened to music and took walks. we watched a lot of crappy tv at 4am. and every once in awhile, we let others into our little world to ooh and aah over you....and to bring us food and coffee (thank you thank you thank you). :)

• you and i took a lot of little trips together. we visited family in fergus falls. you got to spend precious time with my gramsbefore she passed away this summer. she absolutely doted on you. babies have always been her jam, and you were noexception. the two of you fell in love instantly. in july, we ventured our first hotel stay together. you loved the pool and loved seeing your cousins gracie and gabby. you also loved that we stayed a room with nana because that meant that she was close by for snuggles and lots of kisses. but you did not love sleeping in the hotel room. you had the worst night that i have experienced with you in your short life, which basically consisted of a lot of crying, 3 middle of the night car rides, morning apologies to our hotel neighbors and eventually 2 new teeth the next day! what a night.

• we also spent several weekends visiting nana and papa at the lake. you love it there because you are spoiled rotten with your favorite foods, books, toys and new clothes every time we visit. it's also quiet and beautiful there by the water and you get to see so many people who love you there. you have spent several first holidays there gathered around heaping platters of food, spent sacred time with some of our favorite people, gotten countless kisses and snuggles from your array of grandmas and grandpas, cousins, aunties and uncles and precious friends. you splashed in a wading pool for the first time there and experienced your first 4th of july fireworks display which left you in both awe and (i think) a little terror.

• when you were born we brought you home to our first house together on 44th street in minneapolis, shortly after that in january, uncle tony joined our little family (he absolutely adores you) and we all moved into a bigger house together in hugo, then only six months later, we found our forever home and the home where you will grow up in minneapolis/st.louis park and moved there in july. it is a beautiful house filled with warm light and happy energy. it is a place where other families have lived before us, where other children have grown up and created lovely memories. there is a big, lush yard for you to explore with the gaggle of other kids your age in the quaint little neighborhood and lots of space for us to make memories and live what we all know will be a beautiful life. you have lived in 3 different beautiful homes in your very short life. mommy also left her job and her beloved co-workers at the office of higher education to take a job with an organization called youth frontiers. it is a place that seeks to make the world better for kids just like you. it is also the place that your mommy was working years ago when she and daddy were just in the early stages of their engagement, it is where she found her love for education and for helping schools and kids, it is also the place that she and your auntie debbie became best friends.

• in a very short period of time, you have gone from eating your favorite "first" foods (avocado, sweet potato, bananas andbroccoli) to expertly chowing on pretty much anything in sigh. some of your favorites are chicken, blueberries (yourabsolute favorite), pasta, salmon, rice, cheese, graham crackers, peanut butter toast, eggs and much, much more!!

• you know and recognize many songs. one we have been singing to you since birth is "let's take jonah bowling" which is basically a reworded version of "take the skinheads bowling" from the opening credits of the documentary bowling for columbine. you recognize the chords immediately when daddy plays them and you instantly smile and bob your little body to the beat. to say that you love music would be a vast understatement. thank god because we really didn't want to have to give you away as a christmas present... just kidding (kind of). music has totally colored your world and marked many of your new experiences. every night we consistently listen to lullaby renditions the beatles, coldplay or weezer before you turn on your twilight turtle (you can almost press the buttons by yourself) and go to sleep. you and daddy bop around to sam cooke, allen stone and bob marley during the day. it's a huge part of your life and one of the things that will instantly bring a smile to your face.

• for being such a youngster, it's pretty incredible how early the carpool shuffle has started for you. you are already in a couple of activities weekly and love every minute of them. currently you attend ecfe on wednesdays with daddy. there you get to play with lots of other babies your age, daddy gets to mingle and interact with other mommies (he's the only daddy in the class, lucky you!) and the two of you have a much needed date out of the house every week. on tuesdays, you and i head to swimming lessons at foss swim school. you absolutely love swimming. the teacher often uses you as the example because you will literally do anything and usually with a huge toothy smile. the first time i took you into the pool you gleefully splashed around and squealed with utter joy while many of the other kids were still getting used to the water. i would love to take credit for this, but water is something that you've always gravitated to, even as a tiny newborn. you are fearless, diving under the water to swim to the teacher and then back to me. you are the only kid in our class who has never cried. i'm amazed and proud of your genuine excitement every time we set foot in the pool.

• you currently have several words in your adorable regular vocabulary. they are: mama, dada, papa, bubba, did it, moo, yum and no no. you can also sign: more and all done. we are working on: nana, lulu, yes, up and heidi (though i think thatlast one might take a little more work. every here and there you also have some "one off" random, repeat words that crack us up. some of these words are: dude, butt, yuck, duck and turtle.

• you have had your first significant injury. for your first birthday, your auntie heidi painted a beautiful blue and tealrocking chair for you. it is adorable and just your size. you love sitting in it and rocking, occasionally swinging your legs over one arm or the other (we call you fabio when you do this). i think it makes you feel like a big boy. well, the first time you sat in this chair you took a spill forward and kissed the floor hard. this resulted in a fat lip and your very first (but probably not last) bloody nose. i worried that you may have broken your nose but after the bleeding stopped you looked pretty much normal, save for the fat lip. a few snuggles and kisses and a bath remedied the entire situation and we were back to business as usual. :)

• at about 11 months you finally decided to crawl. i feel like this is a skill that you'd been holding out on us for a while...waiting until you were motivated enough to go after something. you just had no interest in moving around until then. you had to be ready. you must have been really ready though, because you began pulling yourself up to standing within the same week. now you easily make your way around ottomans, chairs, couches. pretty much anything that you can hold onto and walk around. a couple of days ago you stood without assistance for a few seconds before cautiously squatting back down and sitting on your butt. you were very proud of yourself. i believe you will probably decide to take off walking soon. watch out!

• a few final things: you love your fur siblings (though currently, moo is the only one who will tolerate you pulling on ears and smacking/petting her). you get really excited about toys with a pull cord. you hate peas and green beans. you love the bath which makes sense considering how much you love water, but you would spend hours in the tub, slowly shriveling to a tiny prune if we let you. you need to have a book, music (currently rockabye baby - hits of weezer), twilight turtle, blanky, milk and cuddle (in that exact order) to go to sleep. you love the opening theme song to curious george and dance and clap your hands every time it comes on. you know how to click your tongue and blow raspberries and love doing both. you hate it when your hands or feet touch grass and will sit in just a way so that your feet are suspended above the grass just so that you don't have to touch it. you have made mine and your daddy's lives so beautiful and wonderful and have filled us with joy and meaning that we did understand or know until you entered our lives. we are so grateful for you and love you so much.

happy birthday baby bug.

love,

mommy